There are times we are equally blessed and cursed with going through a transformative event in our lives. What I mean by a transformative event is an event that stretches you, tests your limits, and results in an outcome that helps you grow and develop as a person and rewrites your reality. This is different from a transition, which I like to refer to as the “emergency exit” of a transformation. Transition is far more simple and direct. Transition is like staying in your neighborhood, while transformation is seeing a greater world beyond the five blocks surrounding your house.
Transformation can be perceived as easy. Once you get clear on what you want to transform, you find the psychological ease that comes with feeling aligned with your goals and ideals. I once had a wise colleague who commented that if something is meant to be, the universe will align to open up the opportunities for you. At the time, I was pushing and struggling against something that really wasn’t what I wanted in life, but it was what I *thought* I should be doing in life. I resisted my colleague’s wise advice, and in hindsight, I now realize that every transformative experience happened when I was completely clear and aligned with what I truly wanted, and opportunities opened up.
Transformation can be perceived as hard because it forces you to fully examine your life. What you discover may not be pretty. You may temporarily reject the reality. You may need to make some tough decisions. Resistance will throw every psychological trick in the book at you – limiting beliefs, cultural conditioning, big scary assumptions – in order to keep you in your safe emotional neighborhood. These forces aren’t meant to be underestimated, but you have the strength and courage to confront them and rewrite your narrative.
But once you conquer your deepest fears, transformation will result in the ability to design the most rewarding life for yourself that aligns with who you’re meant to become. You will be able to take that first step outside your neighborhood and experience a world that offers new perspectives and new opportunities and new, rewarding realities.
I have worked with participants who start off wanting transformation, but when pushed, they immediately compromise and go straight into transition mode. If we start off a journey by immediately compromising and building emergency exits into our plans, then we hardly ever venture beyond our five blocks. As the old adage goes, “you get what you settle for.” It’s up to you to decide if that’s that you want. I offer no judgement to state that one is better than the other. But if transition is what you seek, then be clear and non-judgmental with yourself that this is what you need at this time. It might be a perceived issue of timing or resources, and that’s fine. The universe will send you a clear signal of when you will be ready for transformation.
What do you want in your life right now: transformation or transition?